the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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