billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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