How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
