i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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