sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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