Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
