wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
