I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
