That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
