4 words: hood of his car
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
