If i come over, it means nothing
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
