I want to make a zoo with you.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
