he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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