I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
This is my gift to your gina
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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