But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
