Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm passing your future prison.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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