Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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