We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
