I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
