i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
