I hate all girls vehemently.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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