Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
