Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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