I feel like I'm in dance class right now
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
