Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
