I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Dear god my vagina.
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