i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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