I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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