garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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