Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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