High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
