with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
