Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize
