the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
