Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
