Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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