How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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