yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
