I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
