I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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