fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
No subtext here. People are naked.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Sorry about my life...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
