I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
