Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
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just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
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I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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