They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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