dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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