Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
