he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize