i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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