was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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