At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
