While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
