wat bout pragnant strippers??
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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