so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize