how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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