Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
