OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
