he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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