this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
