In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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