think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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