Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I will be naked everywhere
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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