You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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