i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
